Da Whack Blog

        I couldn't believe this.  Seated in the cool conditioned movie theater, I caught a late showing of a bitchin' movie, and I was gonna watch it without a single distraction! It was going to be a perfect showing…is what I would say, If I didn't place my chips on the worst bet Zzzzz…. Lying slumped in her chair was Rameisha, affectionately referred to as Squigga by her peers and haters. To make a long story short? I didn't want to look like a weirdo going to the movies alone, so I used some spending money to acquire her… 'escort services'.  Usually, you get higher quality with the price,...

"Now, let's stay relaxed," Deacon said calmly to the senior squirrel floating on her back. "Be calm, and let the water hold you." He hoped to be as soothing as possible to the old woman - she was clearly uncomfortable with the idea of simply floating.  Deacon, as a wandering priest, knew early on that busking out on the streets does not pay any bills.  Thankfully, he found a perfect opportunity to rectify this by joining up at  Snake Edge gym, a beach-side center for working  out and other health related activities.  The fact that she was trying it despite her bad knee warmed Deacon's heart, which had him offer a free course for a couple of days.      The old Squirrel squeaked as soon as she felt water tickle the corner of her eye. She thrashed in a panic, falling down and splashing Deacon in the process. Thankfully, the attentive snake man had her hand in his the entire time.  With a firm lift, Deacon lifted the wet squirrel back on her feet...

  A new story with a new character - Hermione 'Hedgie' the Hedgehog! Come see how she deals with the graveyard shift in Charlottesburg's 5th best burger spot, Burger Suplex! This story contains: Ass-eating, Anal sex, dry anal, large ass, and angry hedgehogs. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the dead of night around 2:05 AM, A Charlottesburg resident curses the moon from behind the greasy counter of The Burger Suplex. The person filled with Ire is a Hedgehog woman; a creature who is as prickly as she is short. Adorned in her uniform, this Hedgehog wore a specially tailored top to allow her quills freedom, as well as black shorts to deal with Charlottesburg's heat. She stared at the empty tables and the old janitor Dog walk outside to smoke his lungs away. "FUUUUCK!" groaned the needlemouse, which alerted the field mouse frycook to look over her way. "Yo, you good Hedgie???"Hermione Rosebush, or 'Hedgie',...

  Today was a drag.  The beach was full of people frolicking, swimming, and sunning their scales and fur. For some reason, this excluded them from stopping by at the table where Beza was stationed. It had been three weeks since she met Deacon and joined the Fellowship of the Holy River, and the honeymoon period was over now.   All the mysticism and wonder of the God of Rivers, Tlalocoatl, didn't mean much to an initiate who was already bored with her work.  It wasn't like she could talk about their religion like Deacon could, but his goody two-scales self just  had to help an old lady with her groceries. She didn't see that blue hide of his until Deacon finally reappeared. " Dios Mio, did you paint her walls too?!" Deacon winced, taken aback by the outburst. "B-Beza, it has only been 15 minutes." Deacon’s look of concern was not lost on Beza; she acknowledged it with a roll of her eyes.  This time, Deacon was able to see all of that Iguana's face in...

  The summer Sun shined down on Charlottesburg, illuminating this curious city and all its inhabitants.  Many of said inhabitants were hitting the beach on this fine day to enjoy the sand and waves of the beautiful beach.  The boardwalk was full of activity with people selling wares to the many tourists who were here to visit.  As it would turn out, there was a group of folks that were not pleased with a certain seller's deal. "...I understand that you are parched, but you must understand! I cannot give you the Holy River's water!" The distressed cry came from an interesting specimen.  The glasses-wearing man was clearly a snake with a cobra's hood and blue scales, but he had quite a few aquatic qualities that set him apart. Fins were located on his forearms and the back of his calves, along with a massive head fin directly in the middle of the speaker's head.  The handsome man was clad in a religious robe that exposed the tall snake man's well-toned, long...

  Hello there! This is the sequel and conclusion to Juniper's family story! Hope you enjoy, and leave a comment please!  ---------------------------------------------------------------------    Three o' clock. The Time of Reckoning had fallen upon Juniper. The grandmother had never let her age slow her down, but after those past few hours, she had to admit that she wasn't the Bunny she used to be! This was apparent with the struggles she was having with the closet door. With her back against it, Juniper fought against the innumerable magazines, skateboards, and her favorite body pillow that threatened to break free. "Rrfh! Come on, Juni; kick this junk's ass!!" With a final push, Juniper sighed in triumph after hearing the closet door click. With her junk stashed away, the illusion of a clean house was complete! Her loving family would be oblivious to all the corners she cut to make it look so good...and not a moment too soon! Juniper's ears perked when sh...

" So nasty that it's probably somewhat of a travesty having me Daily told the people-"        The sound of rap music was drowned away from the heavy slam that pressed onto the snooze button. It was 12 pm, and the elderly bun squinted at the afternoon sun glaring down at her from her bedroom sun roof. She grumbled curses at the Sun for rising so early and interrupting her beauty sleep, raising out of the bed herself. A pair of boy-shorts and a tank-top were Juniper's pajamas today, and her silver hair was cascading down her face wildly. Juniper's legs finally work as they bring her to the Kitchen. She searched for her 'World's Most Kick-ass Mom' mug, and once obtained her puffy, white tail wagged as she made her Coffee.      "Well," Juniper mused with a groan. "Better get started. They'll be here tomorrow." Juniper’s children were all adults by now. As she sits on that monumental milestone of 72 years of age, her children had all...